Benz Eye View: Gods of Egypt

Gods_of_Egypt_poster
Gods of Egypt

Pros:

1.) Some of the character, gods, and monster designs look kind of cool…

2.) MAYBE some of the actors did fine in their roles…

3.) A couple of funny moments (whether it is intentional or not is debatable)…

 

Cons:

1.) The CG and green-screen effects are TERRIBLE.  They stand out like a sore throat (i.e. placing a god and a human together onscreen).  It would be fine on its own, but with real life people standing around them, they are in your face in a bad way.  They probably might as well make this a CG movie or video game instead of a live-action one.

2.) The story and plot is nonsensical.  The lore and world is confusing, there are lessons that contradicts itself, and it fails to invest me in any way possible.  It is really insulting when the movie says the character cannot do a certain thing, because they need something, and then they do it anyway despite not having it.

3.) The characters are very poorly developed.  Not only do they spout out cringe-worthy dialogue, but they are not interesting.  In fact, there are two characters that we are meant to care for, because they are lovers, but they are so bland that I did not care what happened (plus the actress playing the female lover kind of sucks).

 

Overall:

This…is abysmal.  How can they make a movie like this?  It is terrible.  Other than what I just described, I cannot describe how bad it is.  It is so bad, it can be outright funny for some people.  Unfortunately, I am not one of those people.  All I am going to say is this: this movie is going to be buried into the sands of Egypt where it belongs.  Everyone should stay away from this movie.  If you want a laugh how bad it is, wait until it is released in Blu-Ray.  Until then, watch a much better film or laughably bad movie.

1/10

My Choices for the 88th Academy Awards

88thoscars_key_host
88th Academy Awards

The Academy Awards is getting close, so it is time for me to pick who and what I want to win in the Academy Awards.  Here are the rules:

1.) I am only going to pick out the films I have seen.  

2.) I am concentrating on nominations that has more than one films that I have seen in that category.

Here is the list of nominations that I have only seen one film in that category:

Best Animated Feature Film: Inside Out – Pete Docter and Jonas Rivera

Best Animated Short Film: Sanjay’s Super Team – Nicole Paradis Grindle and Sanjay Patel

Best Original Song: “Writing’s on the Wall” from Spectre – Music and Lyric by Jimmy Napes and Sam Smith

 

Here is the list of nominations of the movies I have never seen on that category:

Best Foreign Language Film

Best Documentary – Feature

Best Documentary – Short Subject

Best Live Action Short Film

3.) These are my opinions.  Feel free to disagree, and list who and what you want to win in this year’s Academy Awards in the comments.  

Let’s begin:

Best Visual Effects

Winner:

10636937_661847177254140_3001186770164503894_o
Mad Max: Fury Road

This was really hard, because all the other nominees are great.  I eliminated the choices by how much the visual effects are used, and how well done they are (if I noticed that they are actual visual effects).  The winner of this category is Mad Max: Fury Road, because there are so many impressive visual effects.  In fact, there are some visual effects that are so good, you cannot even tell that they are visual or practical effects.  If they can do that, they win in my eyes.

Best Film Editing

Winner:

 

The_Big_Short_teaser_poster
The Big Short

This film takes advantage with its film editing thanks to the writing and fourth wall moments.  It feels like a tutorial on the basics of banking while watching a story.  The rest of the candidates are fine, but they do not stand out.  How the editing works for The Big Short is what makes me think that they are going to win in this category.

Best Costume Design

Winner:

 

Cinderella_2015_official_poster
Cinderella

When it comes to costume design, unless you have something that REALLY stands out, 1700s wardrobe looks really good (especially for the Academy), so Cinderella wins this category easily.  Plus, Cinderella looks really good in that dress.

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

Winner:

10636937_661847177254140_3001186770164503894_o
Mad Max: Fury Road

Another difficult choice, Mad Max: Fury Road wins this category due to how messed up many of these people look.  True that Leonardo DiCaprio looked messed up in The Revenant, but there are more people that looked dirty, ugly, and disfigured in the former.  Plus, really white-looking people stand out more than a man with battle scars and dirt all over him.

Best Cinematography

Winner:

The_Revenant_2015_film_poster
The Revenant

This one was easy.  With beautiful long shots and panning/tilting, this might as well be a documentary about the forest and wildlife in the United States.  It is also effective in action sequences since they look like they are happening in real time (although it can be done poorly).  The Revenant wins this round.

Best Production Design

Winner: Undecided

I honestly have no clue what to pick, because all four of the films did a fantastic job in production design in their own ways.  If I have to pick one out of random, I say Bridge of Spies, but it is just out of guessing.  Maybe The Danish Girl might actually beat the other nominees, but I have not seen it.  Until then, I will let the Academy pick for me.

Best Sound Mixing

Winner:

10636937_661847177254140_3001186770164503894_o
Mad Max: Fury Road

With so many things that are happening onscreen during the battle sequences, Mad Max: Fury Road wins this one.  Star Wars: The Force Awakens is a close second, but there are few great sound mixing, and the rest is done before.  The winner of this category is Mad Max: Fury Road.

Best Sound Editing

Winner:

Star_Wars_Episode_VII_The_Force_Awakens
Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

On the other hand, Star Wars: The Force Awakens wins this one due to great sound editing and moments in the film.  Makes sense considering how the original Star Wars did a fantastic job with its sound editing.  One particular sound editing moment is Kylo Ren’s lightsaber, which sounds completely different than the other lightsabers.

Best Original Score

Winner:

Star_Wars_Episode_VII_The_Force_Awakens
Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

The other music were either not memorable or had very few memorable musical cues.  Star Wars: The Force Awakens‘s music sounded average to me at first, but it did grow on me through time.  Maybe it is the nostalgia, but I find the music in this film more interesting than the other ones.

Best Adapted Screenplay

Winner:

The_Martian_film_poster
The Martian

This was a close match between The Martian and The Big Short, but I decided to pick The Martian, because it is easier to follow and has more charm than The Big Short.  I do enjoy The Big Short, but despite their fourth-wall breaking moments to explain how banking works, I do feel like it sometimes hard to follow, especially if you are not paying attention/not an banking expert.  The Martian has a simpler plot that could have just used a grim tone, but instead used an optimistic and relaxing tone with moments of grief and doubt; thus it wins this category in my eyes.

Best Original Screenplay

Winner: 

Inside_Out_(2015_film)_poster
Inside Out

I love this film so much that it immediately wins this category due its fantastic writing, clever message, and adorable characters that clearly have flaws, but you love them anyway.  Inside Out better win this, and if not, at least pick Ex Machina.

Best Supporting Actress

Winner:

10-jennifer-jason-leigh-hateful-8.w750.h560.2x
Jennifer Jason Leigh – The Hateful Eight as Daisy Domergue

Not many choices here, but out of the two films I have seen in this category, I pick Jennifer Jason Leigh.  Not everyday you seen an actress play an insane criminal that has spunk despite being a prisoner, and yet still loves her brother.  Not much to say here.

Best Supporting Actor

Winner:

Bridgeof-Spies-777x437
Mark Rylance – Bridge of Spies as Rudolf Abel

Another tough call, but I am going to pick Mark Rylance as Rudolf Abel in Bridge of Spies.  He does a great job playing a character that is accused of being a Soviet spy in the United States, and he does not seem to be that emotionally invested.  However, his character may be a bit of mystery for others, that does not mean that there is some heart in him.  Mark does a great job showing that, and he certainly deserves an Academy Award.

 

Best Actress

Winner:

room_1
Brie Larson – Room as Joy “Ma” Newsome

It is probably not easy for an actress to play a mother that is stuck in a shed for seven years, and is constantly depressed yet still hoping at the same time.  It is also not easy when she has to continue playing the character that finally gets out, but is not fully recovered from the experience.  Brie Larson does a fantastic job in this role, especially when it conjuncts with the child actor, Jacob Tremblay.  The chemistry between the two reinforces why I think she deserves this award.

 

Best Actor

Winner:

oscar-rumors-continue-to-circulate-leonardo-dicaprio-s-the-revenant-but-why-did-some-pe-727229
Leonardo DiCaprio – The Revenant as Hugh Glass

As much as I love Matt Damon’s performance, Leonardo DiCaprio wins this, because of how far he goes as his character.  Most of the film, he does not talk.  He takes action: plenty of dirty and uncomfortable actions.  He looks like he can play a character that has been damaged physically and spiritually.  Plus, he REALLY deserves to win after being nominated so many times and not winning.  Seriously, look at the picture.  It looks like he is praying to God that he wins.  I will be fine if Matt Damon wins, but quoting a comment I found in an article, “Please give this guy an Oscar before he kills himself.”

 

Best Director

Winner:

download
Alejandro G. Inarritu – The Revenant

Interesting that this guy gets nominated two years in the row (and won in Birdman last year).  He certainly has talent on cinematography, but he also does well in directing on where to go, how he leads his actors, and when to cut from the long shot.  Also, I heard they only used natural lighting in the film.  Do you know how hard that can be in filming?  In any case, Alejandro seems to know what he is doing: particularly in filming.

 

Best Picture

Winner:

The_Revenant_2015_film_poster
The Revenant

Out of all the other choices in the category, The Revenant is truly a film.  The story is great, the cinematography is awesome, the atmosphere is beautiful yet grim, the danger is real, the acting is fantastic, and the film is amazing.  The Big Short is great, but some of the moments are a bit distracting.  Bridge of Spies is awesome, but it can be a bit slow and boring at times.  Brooklyn is solid, but it has been done before.  Mad Max: Fury Road is cool, but I do not think it deserves a nomination for Best Picture considering some of its confusing story elements.  The Martian has charm, but it is a bit passive at times.  Room is heart-warming, but what other mother-son films are not?  Spotlight is spectacular, but drags a bit.  Throughout all the films, I enjoy them all.  However, in my opinion, The Revenant may win the Best Picture in Academy Awards.

 

Those are my choices on who and what may win in the Academy Awards.  If you disagree, feel free to comment on who and what you think is going to win.  Until then, we will see what the Academy thinks overall.  Either way, we will have some fun in the end.

Benz Eye View: Room

Room_Poster
Room

Pros:

1.) The mother-son relationship is dynamic.  The two main leads are fantastic and work well with each other.  Kind of amazing considering that the child actor does a great job at this film (child actors are usually not the greatest actors in the world).

2.) I like that the film gives a great sense of claustrophobia and despair despite the very few moments of happiness.  It reflects on its theme: despite escaping in their personal living hell, the feeling does not go away, at least not immediately.

3.) Since the film concentrates on the mother and son, how they react in their situations is deep and match their characters.  The mother (Joy) has been stuck in Room for seven years, and the son (Jack) has been there since he was born (five years).  They both react differently: Joy wants to get out while Jack wants to stay; two interesting viewpoints.

 

Cons: 

1.) Maybe for some people this can be considered slow, but I do not think so since this is well-paced.  I will let you decide on that.

 

 

Overall:

The last of the Oscar-nominated film (sorry it took so long), Room is more than just a mother and son trying to get out of Room, it is about how Room has affected them throughout the years they have been there.  Joy was there for seven years, and wants to get out.  Jack has been there his whole life, and he prefers to stay.  (SPOILERS) When they do get out, the film does not end there.  It continues on to the aftereffects for both characters.  Not going to spoil the rest, but it is a very bittersweet on how these two deal with what happened to them.  Go and watch it.  It certainly deserves the nomination of Best Picture.

10/10

Now that I watched all the Oscar-nominated films, I can now focus on who I want to win in this year’s Academy Awards.  Stick around, and wait for that next post…

Benz Eye View: Risen

Risen_2016_poster
Risen

Pros:

1.) The investigation of Jesus’s body is interesting.  It becomes a mystery on how it disappeared, and while it may not be a surprise to anyone who knows what happened, it does give an interesting new perspective.

2.) I noticed some interesting parallels and symbolism in this film.  Not going to list them, but some of the imagery and conflicts relate to the main plot of the film, and it is pretty symbolic.

3.) I like the non-believers’s point of view of Jesus’s resurrection.  It brings a new idea to the Jesus story since it is in the eyes of a Roman Centurion who just recently heard of Jesus.  It makes sense for a non-believer to not see what is truly happening, and see the people who witnessed His resurrection as a little crazy.

Cons:

1.) Joseph Feinnes’s character, Clavius is not really interesting.  One thing that does not help is that the actor gives a lackluster performance.  It is not terrible, but he looks like he does not want to be in the movie, or he is just not interested.  Plus, his goals is pretty typical.

2.) The student-teacher relationship between Clavius (Joseph Feinnes) and Lucius (Tom Felton) is not really well-handled.  At one point in the film, the two have a conflict with each other, but I cannot buy it due to the lack of personal growth with each other.  They barely interact other than Clavius ordering Lucius to follow his orders.

3.) (SPOILERS)  I think it would have been better if Clavius did not actually meet Jesus.  I do like what this film has here, but it would have been more interesting if the two did not actually meet, and he becomes a follower thanks to the disciples.

 

Overall:

Let’s face it: when it comes to the life of Jesus, there are SO MANY films and movies about Him.  It can get really tiring.  Then, I heard about this film: a story about Jesus’s resurrection from a non-believer’s point of view.  The premise is actually a good idea, and I really wanted to see this film.  While I wish there are some things that need some improvement or changing, I do like it overall.  It brings a new taste and idea to a story that everyone that is familiar with it.  While not perfect (i.e. Clavius’s plot is technically not resolved), I do recommend this to everyone, especially to anyone who wants a new point of view on Jesus’s resurrection.

8/10

Benz Eye View: Zoolander No. 2

Zoolander_2_poster
Zoolander No. 2

Pros:

1.) Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson still do well as their respective characters: Derek Zoolander and Hansel McDonald.  Even Will Ferrell as Jacobim Mugatu does well as a man wanting vengeance against Zoolander after his humiliating failure in the first movie.

2.) The music is epic and cool…That is it.

 

Con:

1.) For a comedy, most if not all the jokes are not funny.  At best, the jokes gave me a chuckle.  At worst, all I can hear was cricket noises.  There are very few jokes that actually made me laugh out loud, but this movie fails as a comedy.

2.) One thing that is distracting is so many pointless celebrity cameos.  To name a few, there is Katy Perry, Justin Bieber, Sting, even Neil deGrasse Tyson makes a cameo in this movie.  I was fine with some of them, but it gets really annoying when they keep doing it, especially when they keep acknowledging them, name and all.

3.) This movie is stupid.  I know that the last movie was stupid as well, but it was also clever and funny.  The sequel is not only stupid, but insulting.  There are so many plot points that feel forced and unnecessary.  Not to mention, there are some plot holes that can give you a headache.

 

Overall:

I loved the first Zoolander.  It is one of those underrated movies that is clever and funny that came out in an unfortunate time in America (which is 9/11).  It did get popular over time, and plans of a sequel was in the air until now.  15 years after the first movie, and this is the best they got?  It is not good, nor is it even funny (for the most part).  This really disappoints me, because I am huge fan of the first movie.  It is not the worst I have ever seen, but it certainly around there.  Overall, it did come at a bad time: a time where they needed more planning, and when Deadpool came out at the same day as this movie did.  This movie is really really really really really ridiculously bad-looking.

2/10

Benz Eye View: Deadpool

After disposing a certain someone that just came out of nowhere…

headless-deadpool
What?  I was helping…

Yeah, sure.  You shoved me into a trash can!

Yeah, and you shown me your love by cutting off my head.  

That’s not love!  That’s payback!  How’s that related to love?  

What do you think, @#$%^&*?  Tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day.  

…Anyway, here is the actual review.

Deadpool Size Matters
Deadpool

Pros:

1.) For those who are nervous to watch this movie due to how they messed him up in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, have no fear because they got Deadpool completely right.  Ryan Reynolds does a fantastic job playing the Merc with a Mouth, but also does well when he needs to be an emotional character when certain moments are needed.

See?  Just as I said in MY review.  

2.) Since this is about Deadpool, the comedy is hilarious, clever, and awesome.  There are plenty of fourth-wall breaking jokes that reference other movies, actors, characters, X-Men, and even the Deadpool from X-Men Origins: Wolverine.  Be warned that the jokes are rude and crude, and Deadpool does not hold back on that.

And shouldn’t I be?  By the way, why are you censoring my swearing?  

I prefer not to have any.  I even managed to censor your swearing from your review.  

Huh.  That explains it.  

3.) The action scenes are incredible and funny, if not violent.  Although I wish the cinematography is a bit better, they can go from averagely to ridiculously violent to the point that no normal human being can survive that, but this is Deadpool I am talking about here.

See what I mean?  You said everything that I said what is awesome about my movie (with different words).  You don’t need to finish this review.  Just read mine.  

I am not done.  I am starting the cons.  

Oh, come on.  What’s wrong with my movie?  

Well, for starters…

 

Cons:

1.) The villain is forgettable.  All he is a guy who wants to sell mutants for money and power, because…he is evil.  Nothing much to add here.

Except he is played by a British guy.  

That is kind of offensive, Deadpool.  

Oh, come on.  You of all people should know that any British film actor plays a bad guy.  

General_hux
Like this guy!
Loki
Or this guy!
Kahn (Star Trek)
Ooh!  How about this one!

I get it…

Also, most of the side characters are not interesting except for the best friend, Weasel and the love interest, Vanessa.  The two actually have pretty good romantic chemistry.

Oh, yeah.  We certainly do.  Which one by the way?  Because I prefer to put my chemistry right in-

Moving on!  

2.) The plot is pretty average.  One man becomes a superhero.  He (technically) does super heroics, or in this case, goes on a revenge spree.  The woman he loves is in trouble.  Superhero goes to save her.  Nothing new here.

So what?  What do you prefer to watch, Spider-Man?  

Hey, at least his films are better than yours in terms of story.  

…That really hurts, man.  

3.) The first half of the movie consists of flashbacks that show Deadpool/Wade Wilson’s origins.  While it does provide some interesting backstory, it slows the movie down.  I prefer to see more of Deadpool’s antics rather than his somewhat bland backstory.

Aah.  You do like me.  And I actually kind of agree to that, you can thank Ryan Reynolds for that.  

It is not his fault, Deadpool.  

Yes, it is.  

Oh, fine.  Who do you want to play you?  

Easy…

…Go on.  

…Let’s just move on.  

Wait!  IT’S-

 

Overall:

Based on a Marvel Anti-Hero, Deadpool is a big improvement over his portrayal in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, but does that make it a great movie?  For the most part, this ends up being an average superhero movie.  There is nothing that really stands out (with one huge exception).  You have a superhero (or anti-hero) who gets his powers, he seeks revenge, has to save his woman, and many other superhero cliches.  The only thing that saves this movie from being dull of its cliches is Deadpool himself.  He is hilarious, but messed up.  He can fight, but does not hold back how he kills his enemies.  If you want a funny, fourth-wall breaking, crude, super anti-hero who acknowledges even the cons that I mentioned here (for better or worse in my case), this is for any of the newcomers and fans of the character.  Otherwise, watch any other superhero movies like Spider-Man.

7/10

7/10?  It should be 10/10.  Come on!  

Sorry, Deadpool.  That is my review, and I think your movie is all right.  

Figures a “reviewer” like YOU would think so.  You probably don’t like any superhero media.  

Spider-Man and Batman are two of my favorite comic-book superheroes.  Not to mention I like many superhero films: Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, The Avengers, Captain America: The Winter Soldier.  I can probably name a few more.  

Oh, please.  None of the movies and characters have any of my charms.  

Such as?  

My chimichangas.  

GET OUT OF HERE!  

Deadpool vs. Captain America
OOF!  My Chimichangas!

Oh…Ow…Well…Fine, then!  Forget your little dumb blogging review website.  I have better places to go to like…dealing with a certain other self that almost ruined my career.  Shameless plug-in video!  

Huh.  I thought I beheaded him earlier.  Oh well.  The X-Men Cinematic Universe has timeline problems anyway.  

Dead Eye Pool: Deadpool

 

deadpool
Hello, beautiful people!

It’s me, Deadpool!  I am here to talk about my adorable new film that just came out.  

High School Deadpool
Deadpool!  a.k.a. ME!

What’s that?  Where’s the guy that is supposed to review this film?  Oh, don’t worry.  He’s…

Guy in trash
…having a good time.  

So…shall we get started.  

Pros:

1.) Ah…this film has everything that it needs….ME!  That’s right, me!  What?  You expect anyone else?  Oh, yeah.  There’s…Ryan Reynolds…Sure.  

2.) I mean, come on!  I’m in this film.  Not some…well, let me show you.  

 

Deadpool poster by Robert Blancas
Credit goes to some guy named Robert Blancas.  Go see all two images of me in his site.  

Goes to show how I can slice and dice some loser version of me.  If I can do that with him, I can certainly do the same thing with everyone in my film.  

3.) You got to love my jokes.  Everybody does.  Let me think of one…How many Ryan Reynolds does it take to screw a light bulb?  None, because it is MY job to screw the light bulb.  Get it?  Because I’m going to screw the…forget it.  

 

Cons:

1.) Francis…Francis…Francis…

Excuse me while find that @#$%^&* chump with squeaky voice.  

2.) I feel like there is something missing in my film…oh, yeah.  More of my quirks like…wait.  Where are my two voices in my head?  

Deadpool Voices
Or is it eight?  I don’t know.

3.) Who wants to hang out with Ryan Reynolds with his crappy flashbacks of what many new fans will think is my past life?  

Deadpool vs. Green Lantern
Bring it on, Green Reynolds!

 

Overall:

Based on ME, Deadpool is a sexy, new superhero film that deserves all the praises that the fans are giving me.  I’ll doing something for once in my life and say this in a few words as possible: Go @#$%^&* watch it!  Or do you rather watch Fox’s first attempt where they sewed my @#$%^&* mouth?  I’m the MERC WITH THE MOUTH for crying out loud!  No one wants to see that Abomination again.  If you do, you’re an !@#@%^$%&%$&$#^#&^%#$%$##%@#$%$#@^@^%$&%$$.  Or do you want to watch Hugh Jackman with metal claws?  Ha Ha.  Seriously, though…

10 Chimichangas!/10 @#$%^&* Chimichangas!

The best romantic superhero film ever!

What’s that?  You prefer to hear the other guy’s review?  Ugh.  Fine, he’ll get to it tomorrow.  Let’s be honest though, let’s stop wasting time and do what you NEED to do…

Deadpool Hates Bear
Go watch this awesome movie, or this bear dies!