Benz Eye View: The Emoji Movie

The_Emoji_Movie_film_poster
The Emoji Movie

Pros: 

1.) The animation is not really that bad.  Sure, the characters are walking emojis, but they appear serviceable and…and…Pfft…Heh heh…Ha ha ha ha…

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Cons: 

1.) Oh, where do I begin?  How about starting out with the “jokes” in this family movie?  They suck.  They are predictable.  They do not land well.  They do not hold this movie together.  When I was in the theater, only three adults were laughing (they must have hated this movie so much that they lost their minds).  If not even the children were laughing at your family movie, you know you have failed at comedy.

2.) Since the majority of the movie takes place in a cell phone, I found the world inside it to be really confusing and convoluted.  There are apps for emoji, but there are also some apps for YouTube, DropBox, Facebook, and Just Dance.  No, I am not kidding; there are product placements everywhere in this movie.  The main character, Gene is supposed to be a meh emoji, but he is a malfunction that makes him a wide arrange of emoji; I do not know how that works, but fine.  This is one of those worlds that if you think about it too much, you are going to have a huge migraine due to how many questions of the functionality of the world like in the Cars movies (i.e. how do emoji spawn children?).

3.) There are SO many things I despise about this movie that I will try to list many of them in this con.  The characters are annoying and hard to bear (in fact, one character, Hi-5 the hand emoji creates many conflicts due to his stupidity) with their own sub-plots that no one will really care for such as Gene’s parents due to how dull they are (because their meh emoji, get it?).  The editing makes the movie move in a fast-pace that it barely leaves the audience and characters time to breathe, and somehow the movie still ends up feeling too long.  The message has been done to death before, but for some reason, it does not feel like it should belong in a family movie since the message is slightly adult (I would tell that you will understand it when you adults see it, but please do not).  The dialogue is so atrocious that I want these characters to shut up; here is one example of their WONDERFUL dialogue: “Emojis are the most important form of communication ever invented.”

giphy (1)

One sub-plot that the movie constantly keeps going back to is that Alex, the child who owns the phone that Gene and the other emoji live in, wants to talk to a girl that he has a crush on, but he is too shy to attempt it, so his solution is to send an emoji to her.  How about, oh, I do not know, TALK TO HER YOURSELF YOU IDIOT?!  Even the finale itself is confusing and filled with so much deus ex machina and plot holes that I am not bothering to cover it not because I do not want to spoil it, but because I do not even want to bother thinking about it.  Do you want to know the worst part of this movie that I realized?  This movie is trying WAY TOO HARD to be Inside Out.  Whereas Inside Out was really good, The Emoji Movie is utter garbage.  A clever film that is well-constructed and thought out versus a lazy movie that will be forgotten due to its lack of good ideas and moments; who do you think is going to win?

Overall: 

…Yep…It is as bad as you expected when you saw that teaser trailer.  There is an animated movie about emojis.  Whose bright idea was that?  Admittedly, I was willing to give this movie a chance.  I thought it might actually be good, because The Lego Movie did not look good in the trailers due to being one big product placement (which it is), but the film itself was great.  Until I heard that it was outright terrible.  For some reason, this did not discourage me from watching it, but instead gave me curiosity.  I decided to watch it with someone alongside me.  That person slept throughout most of the movie, the children did not appear to have any fun, and I end up leaving the theater like this:

giphy

I knew it was going to bad, but I somehow feel happy and enraged at the same time (I think I am becoming a bit of a masochist now).  There is nothing good about this movie other than the animation and Sir Patrick Stewart as the Poop emoji.

the-emoji-movie-poster-poop-patrick-stewart
That is honestly a fitting metaphor for this movie. 

If you want to have your sanity drained by this shameful attempt of a movie, go right ahead.  I cannot stop you.  However, if you want to save yourself from being a masochist, watch something else worthy for your time, because this is not the emoji movie you are looking for.  It is in another dimension where it is actually creative and funny instead of this piece of Poop_Emoji_2_grande.

1/10

There is a short (yes, there is A SHORT ANIMATED MOVIE) from Hotel Transylvania called Puppy!, and it might not be the best short in the world, but it is so much better than this movie.

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