Benz Eye View: Deadpool

After disposing a certain someone that just came out of nowhere…

headless-deadpool
What?  I was helping…

Yeah, sure.  You shoved me into a trash can!

Yeah, and you shown me your love by cutting off my head.  

That’s not love!  That’s payback!  How’s that related to love?  

What do you think, @#$%^&*?  Tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day.  

…Anyway, here is the actual review.

Deadpool Size Matters
Deadpool

Pros:

1.) For those who are nervous to watch this movie due to how they messed him up in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, have no fear because they got Deadpool completely right.  Ryan Reynolds does a fantastic job playing the Merc with a Mouth, but also does well when he needs to be an emotional character when certain moments are needed.

See?  Just as I said in MY review.  

2.) Since this is about Deadpool, the comedy is hilarious, clever, and awesome.  There are plenty of fourth-wall breaking jokes that reference other movies, actors, characters, X-Men, and even the Deadpool from X-Men Origins: Wolverine.  Be warned that the jokes are rude and crude, and Deadpool does not hold back on that.

And shouldn’t I be?  By the way, why are you censoring my swearing?  

I prefer not to have any.  I even managed to censor your swearing from your review.  

Huh.  That explains it.  

3.) The action scenes are incredible and funny, if not violent.  Although I wish the cinematography is a bit better, they can go from averagely to ridiculously violent to the point that no normal human being can survive that, but this is Deadpool I am talking about here.

See what I mean?  You said everything that I said what is awesome about my movie (with different words).  You don’t need to finish this review.  Just read mine.  

I am not done.  I am starting the cons.  

Oh, come on.  What’s wrong with my movie?  

Well, for starters…

 

Cons:

1.) The villain is forgettable.  All he is a guy who wants to sell mutants for money and power, because…he is evil.  Nothing much to add here.

Except he is played by a British guy.  

That is kind of offensive, Deadpool.  

Oh, come on.  You of all people should know that any British film actor plays a bad guy.  

General_hux
Like this guy!
Loki
Or this guy!
Kahn (Star Trek)
Ooh!  How about this one!

I get it…

Also, most of the side characters are not interesting except for the best friend, Weasel and the love interest, Vanessa.  The two actually have pretty good romantic chemistry.

Oh, yeah.  We certainly do.  Which one by the way?  Because I prefer to put my chemistry right in-

Moving on!  

2.) The plot is pretty average.  One man becomes a superhero.  He (technically) does super heroics, or in this case, goes on a revenge spree.  The woman he loves is in trouble.  Superhero goes to save her.  Nothing new here.

So what?  What do you prefer to watch, Spider-Man?  

Hey, at least his films are better than yours in terms of story.  

…That really hurts, man.  

3.) The first half of the movie consists of flashbacks that show Deadpool/Wade Wilson’s origins.  While it does provide some interesting backstory, it slows the movie down.  I prefer to see more of Deadpool’s antics rather than his somewhat bland backstory.

Aah.  You do like me.  And I actually kind of agree to that, you can thank Ryan Reynolds for that.  

It is not his fault, Deadpool.  

Yes, it is.  

Oh, fine.  Who do you want to play you?  

Easy…

…Go on.  

…Let’s just move on.  

Wait!  IT’S-

 

Overall:

Based on a Marvel Anti-Hero, Deadpool is a big improvement over his portrayal in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, but does that make it a great movie?  For the most part, this ends up being an average superhero movie.  There is nothing that really stands out (with one huge exception).  You have a superhero (or anti-hero) who gets his powers, he seeks revenge, has to save his woman, and many other superhero cliches.  The only thing that saves this movie from being dull of its cliches is Deadpool himself.  He is hilarious, but messed up.  He can fight, but does not hold back how he kills his enemies.  If you want a funny, fourth-wall breaking, crude, super anti-hero who acknowledges even the cons that I mentioned here (for better or worse in my case), this is for any of the newcomers and fans of the character.  Otherwise, watch any other superhero movies like Spider-Man.

7/10

7/10?  It should be 10/10.  Come on!  

Sorry, Deadpool.  That is my review, and I think your movie is all right.  

Figures a “reviewer” like YOU would think so.  You probably don’t like any superhero media.  

Spider-Man and Batman are two of my favorite comic-book superheroes.  Not to mention I like many superhero films: Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, The Avengers, Captain America: The Winter Soldier.  I can probably name a few more.  

Oh, please.  None of the movies and characters have any of my charms.  

Such as?  

My chimichangas.  

GET OUT OF HERE!  

Deadpool vs. Captain America
OOF!  My Chimichangas!

Oh…Ow…Well…Fine, then!  Forget your little dumb blogging review website.  I have better places to go to like…dealing with a certain other self that almost ruined my career.  Shameless plug-in video!  

Huh.  I thought I beheaded him earlier.  Oh well.  The X-Men Cinematic Universe has timeline problems anyway.  

Dead Eye Pool: Deadpool

 

deadpool
Hello, beautiful people!

It’s me, Deadpool!  I am here to talk about my adorable new film that just came out.  

High School Deadpool
Deadpool!  a.k.a. ME!

What’s that?  Where’s the guy that is supposed to review this film?  Oh, don’t worry.  He’s…

Guy in trash
…having a good time.  

So…shall we get started.  

Pros:

1.) Ah…this film has everything that it needs….ME!  That’s right, me!  What?  You expect anyone else?  Oh, yeah.  There’s…Ryan Reynolds…Sure.  

2.) I mean, come on!  I’m in this film.  Not some…well, let me show you.  

 

Deadpool poster by Robert Blancas
Credit goes to some guy named Robert Blancas.  Go see all two images of me in his site.  

Goes to show how I can slice and dice some loser version of me.  If I can do that with him, I can certainly do the same thing with everyone in my film.  

3.) You got to love my jokes.  Everybody does.  Let me think of one…How many Ryan Reynolds does it take to screw a light bulb?  None, because it is MY job to screw the light bulb.  Get it?  Because I’m going to screw the…forget it.  

 

Cons:

1.) Francis…Francis…Francis…

Excuse me while find that @#$%^&* chump with squeaky voice.  

2.) I feel like there is something missing in my film…oh, yeah.  More of my quirks like…wait.  Where are my two voices in my head?  

Deadpool Voices
Or is it eight?  I don’t know.

3.) Who wants to hang out with Ryan Reynolds with his crappy flashbacks of what many new fans will think is my past life?  

Deadpool vs. Green Lantern
Bring it on, Green Reynolds!

 

Overall:

Based on ME, Deadpool is a sexy, new superhero film that deserves all the praises that the fans are giving me.  I’ll doing something for once in my life and say this in a few words as possible: Go @#$%^&* watch it!  Or do you rather watch Fox’s first attempt where they sewed my @#$%^&* mouth?  I’m the MERC WITH THE MOUTH for crying out loud!  No one wants to see that Abomination again.  If you do, you’re an !@#@%^$%&%$&$#^#&^%#$%$##%@#$%$#@^@^%$&%$$.  Or do you want to watch Hugh Jackman with metal claws?  Ha Ha.  Seriously, though…

10 Chimichangas!/10 @#$%^&* Chimichangas!

The best romantic superhero film ever!

What’s that?  You prefer to hear the other guy’s review?  Ugh.  Fine, he’ll get to it tomorrow.  Let’s be honest though, let’s stop wasting time and do what you NEED to do…

Deadpool Hates Bear
Go watch this awesome movie, or this bear dies!