Dead Eye Pool: Deadpool

 

deadpool
Hello, beautiful people!

It’s me, Deadpool!  I am here to talk about my adorable new film that just came out.  

High School Deadpool
Deadpool!  a.k.a. ME!

What’s that?  Where’s the guy that is supposed to review this film?  Oh, don’t worry.  He’s…

Guy in trash
…having a good time.  

So…shall we get started.  

Pros:

1.) Ah…this film has everything that it needs….ME!  That’s right, me!  What?  You expect anyone else?  Oh, yeah.  There’s…Ryan Reynolds…Sure.  

2.) I mean, come on!  I’m in this film.  Not some…well, let me show you.  

 

Deadpool poster by Robert Blancas
Credit goes to some guy named Robert Blancas.  Go see all two images of me in his site.  

Goes to show how I can slice and dice some loser version of me.  If I can do that with him, I can certainly do the same thing with everyone in my film.  

3.) You got to love my jokes.  Everybody does.  Let me think of one…How many Ryan Reynolds does it take to screw a light bulb?  None, because it is MY job to screw the light bulb.  Get it?  Because I’m going to screw the…forget it.  

 

Cons:

1.) Francis…Francis…Francis…

Excuse me while find that @#$%^&* chump with squeaky voice.  

2.) I feel like there is something missing in my film…oh, yeah.  More of my quirks like…wait.  Where are my two voices in my head?  

Deadpool Voices
Or is it eight?  I don’t know.

3.) Who wants to hang out with Ryan Reynolds with his crappy flashbacks of what many new fans will think is my past life?  

Deadpool vs. Green Lantern
Bring it on, Green Reynolds!

 

Overall:

Based on ME, Deadpool is a sexy, new superhero film that deserves all the praises that the fans are giving me.  I’ll doing something for once in my life and say this in a few words as possible: Go @#$%^&* watch it!  Or do you rather watch Fox’s first attempt where they sewed my @#$%^&* mouth?  I’m the MERC WITH THE MOUTH for crying out loud!  No one wants to see that Abomination again.  If you do, you’re an !@#@%^$%&%$&$#^#&^%#$%$##%@#$%$#@^@^%$&%$$.  Or do you want to watch Hugh Jackman with metal claws?  Ha Ha.  Seriously, though…

10 Chimichangas!/10 @#$%^&* Chimichangas!

The best romantic superhero film ever!

What’s that?  You prefer to hear the other guy’s review?  Ugh.  Fine, he’ll get to it tomorrow.  Let’s be honest though, let’s stop wasting time and do what you NEED to do…

Deadpool Hates Bear
Go watch this awesome movie, or this bear dies!

 

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