Benz Eye View: Howard the Duck

Do you recall seeing a duck-like creature who appeared four times in the MCU (particularly Guardians of the Galaxy, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Avengers: Endgame, and What If…?)? That duck had his own movie several decades ago, and it is the actual first theatrical Marvel movie…unfortunately. Welcome back to Marvel Movies Marathon, and let us review a movie that everybody does not want to remember: Howard the Duck.

Dear lord…

Pros:

1.) If there is ONE thing I can give this movie credit for, the duck animatronics and puppetry are not too bad. They are not the best animatronics you will ever see since there are better ones, but this movie had a convincing duck character and expression (somewhat) that makes you believe that Howard the Duck (voiced by Chip Zien) is alive. I will give props to these people; that is the best thing about this movie…

Cons:

1.) …On the other hand, almost everything else about this movie is atrocious! I shall begin with the target audience for this movie: who is the movie targeting? It cannot be for adults, because the humor and characters are so juvenile and one-dimensional that no one will think these people are funny or actual humans (one of the jokes is someone impersonating Donald Duck to Howard). It certainly cannot be for children, because there is plenty of sexual and adult humor that they should not see. To put in perspective, this movie is rated PG and released in 1986; two years after the PG-13 rating was made. I have no idea how the film rating board thought this movie deserves a PG rating.

2.) What else should I point out? The story is about Howard the Duck getting kicked off of his own planet by some scientific laser and dragged into Earth, so he tries to find a way to go back. That should sound simple, but the movie drags that out for way too long. The plot does not really start until nearly halfway into the movie, and the rest of that runtime is Howard looking around the city getting a job that he eventually quits, having a romantic relationship with a human named Beverly Switzler (played by Lea Thompson) which gets uncomfortable extremely quickly (I will give Lea Thompson credit for acting like she is actually romantically interested in Howard) and meeting people who have abnormal reactions to him with some taking it better than others. When the plot finally starts to happen, a villain called the Dark Overlord of the Universe (voiced by Brian Steele) comes out of nowhere in the middle of the second act, because the writers realize that nothing is really happening so far into the movie.

By the third act, it goes on for way too long with a chase sequence between Howard and the police, and this Dark Overlord kidnaps Beverly in an overlong sequence to get energy and he prepares to get his people on Earth, and then finally a confrontation between the Overlord and Howard with an action sequence that even an amateur filmmaker can do better. This writing was bad back then, and it is still bad now.

3.) What is one last thing I should mention to put the final nail in this so-called movie coffin? I might as well expand more on the cons since everything else is not noteworthy or worth talking about in this review. There are pop culture references in Howard’s world and lines that are already trying way too hard because they replaced the typical references with duck puns (i.e., Breeders of the Lost Ark…get it?). The sexual and adult content includes a clear look at a female duck’s breasts when she is in the bath, Howard working on a romance spa where we can clearly see some female cleavage, and Howard getting turned on with feathers on his head going up when Beverly hits on him and clearly kisses him. I remind you that this is a PG movie.

Real-time reaction to that “scene.”

Nearly everyone who sees Howard the Duck has an inhuman reaction to him as though they met his type before (or assume he is wearing a duck costume). In the restaurant sequence, when three bullies go after Howard (pathetically I might add since he kicks their butts for a while), everyone in the restaurant suddenly becomes a full mob and wants to cut him into pieces. The Dark Overlord possesses Dr. Walter Jennings (played by Jeffrey Jones) in a performance so cheesy and ridiculous that I am surprised that the actor did not break down laughing (or crying). Tim Robbins is in the movie as Phil Blumburtt and he gives an over-the-top performance, especially when he is around Howard. He acts like a schoolboy with child-like excitement which is bizarre since he is a scientist (he is actually a janitor, but he wants to be a scientist). I can add more, but this would make this review longer than intended, let’s just go to the overall section.

Overall:

Howard the Duck is a character I heard of, but do not know much about. From what I can tell, he is supposed to be a character that ended up on Earth, and satirically points out many of its social events. If that is who he is supposed to be, then I do not think the movie is giving him many favors. This is the actual first Marvel theatrically released movie, and it is absolutely horrendous. You know those movies where a human meets a CG animal character and shenanigans ensue (i.e., Sonic the Hedgehog, Pokémon Detective Pikachu, Peter Rabbit)? This is basically this movie but in a terrible and sometimes slightly disturbing direction.

Other than the duck puppetry and animatronics, nothing about this movie worked. The worst part about it is that the executive producer is George Lucas himself. The movie flopped so badly that Lucas has to sell the CG and effects division of Lucasfilm to Steve Jobs who hired John Lasseter to lead that division that would become Pixar. You do not believe me? Here is a link:

https://www.digitalspy.com/movies/a30138054/howard-the-duck-pixar-george-lucas/#:~:text=By%201994%20they%20made%20their,and%20eventually%20we%20got%20Pixar.

That is the ONE good thing that the movie did. Regardless, the movie may be considered by some as so bad that it is good. For me at least, I await the day that the MCU would make their own Howard the Duck movie but better (especially since Lea Thompson wants to make one taking place in the MCU) because this is a movie that deserves to be taken down the duck drain.

1/10

Benz Eye View: Blade: Trinity (Unrated Cut)

Welcome back to Marvel Movies Marathon, and we are now ending the Blade Trilogy with its last movie: Blade: Trinity. Will it stand toe-to-toe with its predecessors, or will it end up being the worst of the trilogy just like almost every third sequel? Let’s find out in this review of Blade: Trinity.

For the purposes of this review, I am going to be talking about the Unrated Cut of the movie, which includes new scenes and an alternate ending, but I will also mention the original ending as well.

Pros:

1.) The vampire farm scene is actually pretty horrific. The Vampire Final Solution: kidnapping random homeless people using them as a blood farm; it is messed up when you think about it. Having them as a food source for vampires is one thing, but these people being brain dead for the rest of their miserable comatose lives until they die or their blood runs out is another. While it would have been better if this was explored more, that small scene here shows the depravity of how far these vampires can go.

Also, Blade saying “Kill you? Motherf&$%er, I’ll kill you!” was pretty funny.

2.) Despite standing out for the wrong reasons, I thought Ryan Reynolds as Hannibal King was quite funny. He dishes many hilarious one-liners that it is no wonder he was chosen to play Deadpool. I will not go as far to say he saves this movie; depending on your point of view, he may actually ruin it for you. However, I will give him a chance and say that he at least alleviates the movie from its issues. Every time he is on screen, Ryan Reynolds gives his best.

3.) Dracula/Drake (played by Dominic Purcell) has some potential for the movie. The first vampire to exist thousands of years ago and disgusted by the world and his race, Dracula having no weaknesses compared to the typical vampire sounds like a good threat for Blade. Hannibal certainly makes him sound like a good threat…

Cons:

1.) …However, despite all the setup and exposition on the character, Dracula is surprisingly boring. He is an honor-bound warrior who thinks humans are pathetic low-life creatures, but also believes his own vampire race is a shadow of its former self…and he helps them anyway. He barely does anything noteworthy after waking up: he kills a few vampires and humans, kidnaps two more humans (disguised as Abraham Whistler for some reason), bites Danica Talos (played by Parker Posey) implying sexual tension, and fights and talks to Blade a couple of times. Honestly, the way he acts makes him more like he is an underling for Danica since she gets more screen time than him. For the so-called first vampire to ever exist, Dracula makes Deacon Frost and Jared Nomak the more worthy candidates for that title.

2.) I have plenty of issues with the new characters: the Nightstalkers. I like Hannibal King (mainly because of Ryan Reynolds), but his constant one-liners and f-bombs (while funny) are distracting. Abigail Whistler (played by Jessica Biel) is a forced reason for Abraham Whistler (played by Kris Kristofferson) to have his replacement be his wedlock daughter especially since the movie completely wasted his character when he was just resurrected in the last film, and she fights while listening to music in her iPod which is a dumb idea. The rest of the members are red shirts waiting to die and are easily forgotten when that happened. They all stand out for the wrong reasons; the main reason being that they look like they belong in a different movie. Blade is serious when he hunts down vampires, and the Nightstalkers treat it as though it is a video game as he pointed out.

It seems like the movie is attempting to have some lighthearted elements in this dark world of a movie, and it did not work. I do recall that in the first Blade that there are other people hunting vampires, but this is not what I expect to see when we finally meet one, especially when the actors are clearly not as good as Wesley Snipes in terms of action scenes.

3.) The writing is poorer here than its predecessor. I admit that I gave the previous Blade films more credit than they deserved (especially the second film), but I still like them. However, I cannot say the same thing with the third movie, because the flaws are more apparent here. Other than Dracula being boring and the Nightstalkers looking like they came from the wrong movie, Blade seems like a douchebag here, especially towards the Nightstalkers (though I can see the excuse being that he is getting over Abraham Whistler’s death, however, he does not really think about him that much after that). There is a surprising number of daytime scenes, making the movie less horror, though it seems like it is shifting more towards action rather than mixing the two. Dracula (in his monster form) and three vampire dogs apparently have the Reaper virus, because their mouths open up the same way as the Reapers’ mandibles.

I can say more like the main threat is not as bad as the Reapers or how the ending (both theatrical and uncut) makes little sense, but I made my point: the movie’s writing leaves plenty to be desired.

Overall:

As you can already guess, Blade: Trinity is not good. Apparently, there are issues behind the scenes like Wesley Snipes barely participating in the filming due to his dislike of director David S. Goyer and his script. Whatever happened, the damage has been done, and it shows in this movie. The writing has plenty of problems, the new characters do not fit, the main antagonist has wasted potential, and even the fight scenes are clunky (especially with the Nightstalkers). This vampire anti-hero had its run in the spotlight, but will not be heard of again until Phase V of the MCU. In the end, this Marvel superhero got a stake in the heart by the end of his journey.

4/10

A couple more things before I end this review: there was a Blade TV series called Blade: The Series, but it only lasted one season. I remember watching it a long time ago, and I thought it was boring. Lastly, there was a potential crossover between Blade and Selene from the Underworld movies that was discussed, but unfortunately, it did not happen due to Marvel Studios getting the film rights for Blade back.

It is a shame; that would have been a cool crossover.

Benz Eye View: Blade II

With the success of the first Blade, a sequel was made and directed by legendary director Guillermo del Toro. Does his magnificent filmmaking talent work on this Marvel vampire, or is this considered to be one of his earlier and forgettable works? Let’s find out in Marvel Movies Marathon with Blade II.

Pros:

1.) The main plot is that a group of infected vampires called the Reapers are spreading and doing so much damage that the vampires are forced to ally themselves with Blade (played by Wesley Snipes) despite their feud against each other. That makes an interesting conflict right there; one person and a group of people fighting together reluctantly to fight another great evil despite their issues have plenty of potentials, and it paid off for the most part. They hate each other, but there are bigger problems to deal with right now with the Reapers…

2.) …Speaking of the Reapers, these are probably one of the most terrifying monsters I have ever seen. Firstly, their appearances are disturbing and horrifying, especially when they open their mouths/mandibles to bite someone.

I hate to see this guy’s dental plan.

Secondly, the Reapers are basically vampire zombies: they go after anyone from humans to even vampires. Thirdly, they have fewer weaknesses than the vampires; the Reapers can only get hurt/killed from sunlight, steak at the heart but at the side, and starvation. Even the main Reaper, Jared Nomak (played by Luke Goss) has some interesting backstory and motivation to go after the vampires, especially his dad, Eli Damaskinos (played by Thomas Kretschmann). The Reapers are a wonderful vampire monster that I wish had more spotlight these days.

3.) Just like the last movie, the fight scenes are great to watch. Wesley Snipes can still clearly fight, and he still shows off the variety of gadgets on his side like his trusty sword. The best fight scene is in the climactic battle between Blade and Nomak with great transitions from live fighting to CG visuals.

Many of the attacks look painful as well, so it is a little surprising that Blade manages to stay back up after those hits. The action scenes have improved from the last movie, and it is all the more enjoyable for it…

Cons:

1.) …However, those scenes still have the issue of being a bit choppy at times. There is also a problem with some of the shots being close-up shots when they should not be since it is hard to see how they are fighting at times; it almost looks like they are waving their arms from those close-up shots. Also, I hate the cliche that enemies attack the main character one-by-one because they would rather choose the dumber strategy instead of going all at the same time. That could have been improved, but it is still a slight issue here.

2.) There are a few plot details that should have been elaborated on more. The implied romance between Blade and Nyssa (played by Leonor Varela) is cute, but it is a little weak due to their minuscule chemistry and setup. Abraham Whistler (played by Kris Kristofferson) returning is nice, but I think it would have been better if the vampires gave him back to Blade as a way of convincing him to join them in their fight with the Reapers. One more I list here is that the Bloodpack (a vampire group trained to fight Blade, but is now assisting him to fight the Reapers) should have been characterized more other than they are red-shirts. One of them, Snowman was wasted here since he is played by Donnie Yen, and they had one decent fight scene with him, and he was killed off by an infected Lighthammer (played by Daz Crawford) who stupidly did not tell anyone that he was infected by a Reaper. The writing in this film is great, but there are a few things that could have been improved on.

Overall:

Now, this is more like it. I complained that the first Blade movie was generic despite doing its part, and the sequel takes it up a notch. The story and the writing are much better, the horror aspect has improved here, the Reapers are terrifying monsters, Blade has a better conflict with the vampires and the Reapers, and the fight scenes are still as great as its predecessor. It is not perfect since there are a couple of details that bother me, but Blade II has made a horror superhero film that has huge stakes with a hero that is as compelling as everything around him. Watch this: it is a horrific superhero action film that is the best among the Blade Trilogy.

9/10

Benz Eye View: Blade (1998)

Welcome back to Marvel Movies Marathon, and we are now going to look at a character who will eventually be part of the MCU in Phase V and has a voice cameo in Eternals. Until then, let’s look at one of the earlier superhero movies that popularized the superhero genre and the introduction to the Daywalker himself: Blade

Pros:

1.) This is probably not saying much, but I appreciate that there is a Marvel movie that has the guts to show some bloody violence and gore. There are exceptions to the rule like Punisher: War Zone and the Deadpool films, but considering this is one of the earlier Marvel movies, I do like that the filmmakers attempted that. I have been watching Marvel movies with characters who should be violent, but the filmmakers and studios do not have the courage to do this (and the writing is bad), so watching this movie feels like a breath of fresh air I did not have for a long time. In this case, it makes sense that there is violence due to the fact there are vampires involved, so there are dismemberments, bloody explosions, and disintegrations, and it is a joy to watch.

2.) Blade’s motivation to kill vampires is that his mom was bitten by one and seemingly died after he was born. Later in the movie, it turns out that not only is his mom alive, but she is now a vampire and proud of it. This is a pretty good twist since Blade (played by Wesley Snipes) had a decent plot trying to fight vampires since they are an evil organization living their own lives separate from humans, but they will feed them dry while not getting any attention other than the few humans who want to become vampires. When the twist with his mother (played by Sanaa Lathan) happened, this gave Blade a deeper motivation to stop the vampires and kill Deacon Frost (played by Stephen Dorff) since he was the one who not only bit her but also brought her in as a vampire. This twist takes most of the movie’s runtime to happen, but it makes Blade have a better character arc.

3.) Since Wesley Snipes knows how to fight, his action choreography is not too bad. While the editing is choppy in many places, I can tell that the fights are great to watch despite that fault.

With a variety of weapons like guns, stakes, and a sword, Blade’s fighting style looks awesome which creates cooler action scenes. It is not perfect since some of the choreography makes the enemies charge at him stupidly without the thought of defending themselves and they go in one at a time, but the fights are still cool to see.

Cons:

1.) The CG has not aged well for this over 20-year-old movie. I am watching this on Blu-Ray, and while it did look good back in 1998, in 2022 standards and clearer visuals, the visual effects look rough. The most noticeable CG effects are when the vampires turn to dust when Blade kills them; it looks like an early video game cutscene placed in a live-action movie. There are some decent effects such as Blade giving three vampires EDTA that turns them into bloody boils before exploding; that is disturbing in the right ways.

However, the movie is not going to be known for its best visual effects, especially by today’s standards.

2.) The actress playing Dr. Karen Jenson (played by N’Bushe Wright) is a weak actress because she barely emotes. Her character seems to take so many things pretty well (like learning that there are vampires in this world) because her facial expression seems to be blank most of the time. There are occasional hints like fear when she learned her ex-boyfriend (played by Tim Guinee) is now a vampire, but any other attempts of emotion seem weak at best. Her character is fine, but her actress…let’s just say there is a reason why people never heard of her.

3.) This is a late 90s movie, so there are many cliches here that could bother you. These cliches include letting the hero live to see the villain’s plan because he could, the villain is a whiny young man who despises his elders (Frost reminds me too much of Blackheart from Ghost Rider, but at least Frost is smarter than Blackheart) and leaving characters to die or having the enemy continue talking when the hero can easily escape. I like to comment that while the movie is good, I found it to be generic with great moments (like Blade’s climactic battle) here and there. The cliches may not ruin it, but they do stand out to me.

Overall:

You probably did not know that this character is actually from Marvel, didn’t you? I did not know until the third movie came out with the Marvel logo, but I digress. Being the first theatrically released Marvel movie (actually, there is another, but I will get to that soon), Blade was just a generic superhero who fights vampires, and he was not that interesting until this movie came out.

This is what he looked like in his first comic book appearance.

Because of that, Blade started to become popular enough that his original comic book appearance changed to what he was seen in the movies. Going back to the first Blade, I can see why people loved it when it came out (and some people still love it), and I do acknowledge that it is good, but it has shown its age a bit. The story is a little generic with some good moments here and there, certain late 90s cliches bother me a bit, and Blade is a good character that needs some more interesting traits here and there (he needs to be more than just a vampire with all their strengths and none of their weaknesses besides the thirst for blood). I acknowledge that this review seems a bit weak and I apologize for that, but after watching this movie, I barely can think of many good and bad things for it other than this is a generic superhero movie that does a decent job with its horror tone, but I have seen plenty of movies like this before (some have been done or aged better like Underworld). Hopefully, the sequels will rectify that, but as it stands, this Daywalker does have a decent start but needs to do more to appease me.

7/10

Benz Eye View: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

Despite the bad reviews of the first movie, Ghost Rider did get a sequel which was directed by Neveldine/Taylor of the Crank movies, and this movie was their last directorial movie as of this review. That is probably not a good sign here. Welcome back to Marvel Movies Marathon as we look into the sequel of this hellish anti-hero: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance.

Pros:

1.) Despite all the problems I have with this movie, at least Ghost Rider still looks amazing here. Having his skeletal appearance now having a charred look to him makes him more terrifying than ever. One detail I like is that when his fire gets temporarily extinguished, black smoke takes its place, giving this character more life so to speak. The last best thing about him is that when he possesses other vehicles, it looks astoundingly hellish.

That is the best thing I can say about this movie: Ghost Rider still looks awesome.

Cons:

1.) How should I start with this mess of a movie? Let’s begin with many of the inconsistencies from the previous movie. How Johnny Blaze (played by Nicolas Cage) made the deal with Mephistopheles (played by Ciarán Hinds) in this movie does not match what happened in the first one. Ghost Rider can apparently travel during the morning despite showing that he can only travel at night or under shadows in the previous movie. Lastly, Johnny Blaze said that he will own up to the curse and can handle it in the first movie, but it shows he cannot handle it at all in the sequel. There are probably more I did not think of, but you get the idea. However, this movie has bigger problems with having inconsistencies than its predecessor…

2.) …If you thought the writing in the previous movie was dull, the writing here is downright uninspired. This movie’s writing is somehow worse than its predecessor with stupid moments like Moreau (played by Idris Elba) being saved by a tree after falling from a cliff (with the French national anthem playing…because he is French, I guess), learning that Ghost Rider can pee fire, or Ghost Rider acting oddly when he stands in front of henchmen doing nothing as well as spinning in the air after being hit by a rocket launcher. Also, the chemistry between the characters like Johnny Blaze and Danny Ketch (played by Fergus Riordan) does not work since nothing about them are interesting at all (though Moreau is somewhat likable due to his dedication to his Catholic faith) and their interactions are weak and generic. Say what you want about the first movie, there was at least an attempt of having these characters work well with each other and a story that had some attempt to make its events interesting; this movie does not have any of that.

3.) The biggest things that hurt this movie the most are the production and post-production aspects. I hate the cinematography since its movement is a mostly shaky handheld that is completely unnecessary and somewhat disorienting with FPS being inconsistent and really bright lighting not helping matters at all. The editing does not help either since it sometimes quickly fast-forwards out of nowhere with little to no reason, and so many quick cuts and spasms that are so unstable and unhinged that it feels like these filmmakers were on crack when they made this.

What in the world am I watching?

Overall:

I am going to keep this as simple as possible: this sequel is even worse than its predecessor. The writing is worse, the characters lack any interest or chemistry, the cinematography makes an amateur look like a professional, the editing is something only someone on drugs would do, and it seems like the filmmakers did not give a crap about what the last movie did so they did their own thing without any care in the world. The only reasons why this movie escapes from being the worst Marvel movie alongside Elektra and Fantastic Four (2015) are Nicolas Cage’s performance when he goes insane and Ghost Rider himself.

Despite making the movie less serious, Cage’s hammy performance is still entertaining to watch. I sadly have to say that Season 4 of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is the closest thing to any good Ghost Rider material. Otherwise, skip this movie since apparently making a deal with the devil makes you high on crack.

2/10

Benz Eye View: Ghost Rider

We return once again to Marvel Movies Marathon with a character that is technically in the MCU but is only seen briefly in an episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Robbie Reyes’ version was in Season 4 of that show. We are going to take a look at the Spirit of Vengeance himself with Johnny Blaze as the terrifying Ghost Rider.

For the purposes of this review, I will be talking about the Extended Version of this movie. However, that cut does little to help this movie, so I will not be mentioning it that much.

Pros:

1.) This is flawed, but I do like the opening introduction to the movie before we get to see Nicolas Cage as Johnny Blaze a.k.a. Ghost Rider. There are plenty to pick apart in this sequence from Matt Long’s younger Johnny Blaze looking nothing like Nicolas Cage to Matt’s bad acting, but the things I like (which the Extended Version did a better job) include the relationship between Johnny and his dad, Barton (played by Brett Cullen), and Johnny’s deal with Mephistopheles (played by Peter Fonda). Once again, this sequence has plenty to pick apart, but the few things I like about it I appreciate more than the rest of the movie.

2.) Ghost Rider looks amazing. That was easily the biggest thing I liked about the movie: Ghost Rider looks like Scorpion from Mortal Kombat if he decided to have his flaming skull head and become a motorcyclist. His design and appearance install fear in any villain who sees it, making it more fitting for this anti-hero.

Would you like this to be the last thing you will ever see?

If anything, he at least looks like one of the coolest anti-heroes in comic books…

Cons:

1.) …It is just a shame that his character is boring as a rock, mainly because Nicolas Cage gives out a weak performance. The character himself is potentially interesting, but his actor looks bored throughout most of the movie. I guess he is supposed to be like that since Johnny gave his soul to Mephistopheles, but it still looks like a boring performance. The only times that Cage does more are some of his interactions with Roxanne Simpson (played by Eva Mendes), when he acts crazy as he turns into the Ghost Rider (in short, his known Cage shenanigans), or as Ghost Rider himself. It is kind of sad that the most interesting aspect of his character is when he turns into a CG flaming monstrosity.

2.) This movie is outright dull; nearly everything about it is boring or stupidly illogical and inconsistent. Here are some examples: it takes way too long for Ghost Rider to finally appear on screen, which is much worse if you got the extended edition. The relationship between Johnny and Roxanne is inconsistent considering how she likes to be with him but changes her mind almost immediately out of nowhere. Johnny decided to keep his power which ticks off Mephistopheles makes absolutely no sense that I do not need to point out everything wrong with that with what the movie has shown. The movie is clearly trying to do horror, but other than one jump scare when Blackheart (played by Wes Bentley) was introduced, there is nothing scary about the movie (I do not care if the movie replaces these demons’ faces with monstrous appearances). There are plenty more wrong with this movie, but I will point out one more issue…

3.) …That issue is that the main villains are pathetically easy to defeat. The side villains have the potential to be a challenge since they are demons with earth, wind, and water powers, but Ghost Rider took them out so easily they might as well be red-shirts. As for the main antagonist, Blackheart (who looks nothing like his comic book version, and instead is replaced with an emo goth appearance) is just a typical one-note villain who wants to become the most powerful devil in Hell and Earth. However, when he gets the contract of San Venganza which contains a thousand corrupt and evil souls, Ghost Rider easily defeats him by using the Penance Stare, a power that makes people suffer from all the pain they inflicted on others, something that was used on a street thug earlier in the movie, and it did not work on Blackheart initially since he did not have a soul at the time.

That is one big oversight for Blackheart. He is among one of the dumbest villains ever, and it is amazing that he managed to go past his father, Mephistopheles, to get what he wanted…and it killed him.

Overall:

Ghost Rider is another character I find to be quite interesting in the Marvel Universe: a man who sold his soul to the devil to save his father from cancer, and though he was cured, he died of an accident on the same day. As the devil’s bounty hunter, he would go around the world as the infamous Ghost Rider. That is a character I hope will have his own MCU film or show one day (a cameo in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. does not count), but considering the nature of the character, I find it highly unlikely. As for the movie released back in 2007, let’s just say there is a reason why Sony (the distributor of the movie) decided to give the film rights back to Marvel Studios. This is a bad movie that not even the extended version can help it. Ghost Rider looks cool, but that does not make up for the fact that the movie is such a mess. Do not watch it since it is a deal that is not worth making.

3/10

Benz Eye View: Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

With the success of the first movie, there was going to be a Fantastic Four sequel, but does it do better than its predecessor, or be just as bad as the first? Let’s find out in the next edition of Marvel Movies Marathon: Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.

Pros:

1.) The Fantastic Four still have great chemistry with each other. While they bicker like a family (which is the point), they know deep down that they care for each other, especially after the events of the first movie. All four of them have their time to shine, and their actors (even Jessica Alba as Sue Storm a.k.a. Invisible Woman has gotten better from the last movie) do well in their roles. It is shame that their run as the Fantastic Four ended here, but at least they ended on a decent note.

2.) While I wish this character had more spotlight in this movie, the Silver Surfer (played by Doug Jones and voiced by Laurence Fishburne) was a great antagonist for the Fantastic Four. The fact he is creating giant holes on the Earth and disrupting the environment just to prepare for his master, Galactus’ arrival to satiate his hunger makes Surfer a reluctant villain since he serves him to protect his world and the woman he loves. It is only when the Invisible Woman convinces him to help out is when he decides to go against his master to save Earth. I wish he was explored more, and there were talks of having a movie about him, but it did not happen, so this movie is the best we are going to get with him. As it stands, he is a cool character that had a decent redemption arc and will hopefully have his time to shine one day possibly in the MCU.

3.) One theme that the movie did a decent job on is being a celebrity superhero group as well as famous scientists affect these heroes’ lives; to put it simply, celebrity status. This applies to Reed Richards a.k.a. Mr. Fantastic (played by Ioan Gruffudd) and Sue Storm with their marriage which has been delayed so many times that they are getting sick of the attention and publicity. They want to get away from it all but it affected the team, particularly Johnny Storm a.k.a. the Human Torch (played by Chris Evans), to the point that one of their fights against the Silver Surfer did not go so well. Eventually, they decided to stick to being the Fantastic Four since they believe helping the world is more important than their self-interests. While this could have been better and explored more, their attempt was a good try and it was better than the MCU’s attempt on that theme (cough Iron Man 2 cough).

Cons:

1.) Doctor Doom (played by Julian McMahon) still sucks in this sequel. While he did get a little smarter here than in the last movie, he still is not the same intelligent villain in the comics. I will give it that he did a good job being a threat when he took the Silver Surfer’s board (even though I blame it more for General Hager’s (played by Andre Braugher) idiocy for trusting Doom) and using the Four for his plan, but his best idea to use the board is just fighting the Four without realizing that Galactus is coming to destroy the world despite Mr. Fantastic warning him. When he gets resurrected, he attempts to convince the Surfer to join his cause to take over the world, and when the Surfer refuses, Doom blasts him with no effect, and he promptly gets blasted back by the Surfer in the process. Doom got defeated easily by the Human Torch with the combined powers of his three friends, and he was last seen sinking into the Chinese harbor. I hope one day he gets better treatment than these movies (and the 2015 reboot movie) have given him.

2.) Galactus is one of the most dangerous villains in the Marvel Universe. He is known as the Devourer of Worlds; a gigantic being who will eat all the life energy on the planet not because he wants it destroyed, but because he is hungry and has nothing against the planet. He is a threat not only to the Fantastic Four and the Avengers but also to the entire Marvel universe. His appearance on Earth is terrifying, and a good comparison is in the Eternals movie when Arishem appeared on Earth at the end of that movie.

Would you like to see that coming from the sky?

It would be nice to see an on-screen appearance of that villain, but he is reduced to being a large cloud.

This is not as intimidating as I thought.

That in itself can be intimidating, but I prefer a giant being bigger than the entire planet over a large cloud. It is a wasted opportunity, and it sucks he was destroyed easily by the Silver Surfer.

3.) If there is one character I did not like in this movie (other than Doctor Doom), it is General Hager. The movie mentions that Richards and Hager have a history and do not like each other, but Hager seems to have a grudge against Richards since he spends most of his runtime being angry. He does not have any redeeming qualities in him, especially since he is in charge of stopping the Silver Surfer threat. He deserved getting blasted to bits by Doctor Doom after he betrayed Hager, something he should have seen coming. His assistant, Captain Raye (played by Beau Garrett) was a little more interesting because she at least showed she somewhat cared when she pointed out to Johnny that his negligence almost cost his team and innocent people’s lives. Hager was not that great of a character, so maybe Captain Raye should have been a better replacement.

Overall:

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer is much better than its predecessor. It is what the first movie should have been: a superhero family of four fighting an intergalactic threat and saving the world, not a group of four trying to get rid of their powers when it is clear they are going to keep them. It is not a perfect movie (The Incredibles is still better than these two movies), but it does end up being an entertaining superhero movie that learned the mistakes of its predecessor for the most part. The villains are left to be desired and the story can be a bit generic and simple, but it does what it needs to do. If you want a good Fantastic Four movie, this is the best we got until the MCU version in a couple of years. Until then, this movie may not be fantastic, but it sure is close to being one.

7/10

Benz Eye View: Fantastic Four (2005)

Before the terrible 2015 version, there were three other Fantastic Four movies: one in 1994 that was never released, another in 2005, and its sequel in 2007. Today, we are going to look at the 2005 Fantastic Four movie. Welcome back to Marvel Movies Marathon, and let us dive into the first Marvel family superhero group with their second movie: the Fantastic Four (2005).

Just like The Punisher, this movie also had an extended version, but only on DVD. Those scenes are found on YouTube, and I will acknowledge it here, but I am getting a little annoyed that their Blu-Ray versions do not have their extended cuts.

Pros:

1.) I like how the movie takes its time exploring the powers of each of the members of the Fantastic Four. Reed Richards a.k.a. Mr. Fantastic (played by Ioan Gruffudd) has stretching powers, Sue Storm a.k.a. The Invisible Woman (played by Jessica Alba) has invisibility and force field abilities, Johnny Storm a.k.a. The Human Torch (played by Chris Evans before he became Captain America in the MCU…it sure feels weird) is a living flaming being, and Ben Grimm a.k.a. The Thing (played by Michael Chiklis) is a rock-like fighter with super strength. All of them have their moments to shine and show off their powers, and I do like the makeup appearance of the Thing despite looking a bit rubbery in some areas. It may not be that big of a pro since it is a superhero movie, but I do appreciate the time to explore these powers in terms of scientific exploration.

2.) Out of all the members of the Fantastic Four, I thought three of the members were well cast for their roles. Ioan Gruffudd does great being a leader of the group while studying how their powers work and trying to work on his relationship with Sue. Chris Evans usually worked as a hothead teenager (even though he is clearly an adult here) who cares about fame and attention instead of the people closest to him like his sister (which makes it more surprising how he did well as Steve Rogers a.k.a. Captain America). Michael Chiklis is great when he was happy with his normal life, and gets better when he has to learn to deal with being a rock-like monster desperate for a cure. All of these three are great in their roles while the last member…we will get to soon.

3.) Speaking of Michael Chiklis, if there is one plot line I liked, it is the Thing’s acceptance of becoming his rock-like superhero self. While his wife leaving Ben because he looked different was stupid and cliched, I like how he impatiently waits for Reed to make a cure for himself as others look at him as a freak. When he meets Alicia Masters (played by Kerry Washington), he finds some peace with what he has become, and the extended version shows a bit more of that. As soon as he got cured and finds that his friends got in trouble, he turns back into the Thing (though I do not know how he used the machine that turned him back) and fully accepts himself as he is now. While it is not the best-written plot in the movie, it does a decent job exploring this character like he was in the comics when he reacted to his monstrous form.

Cons:

1.) The story does not work for a superhero movie. The entire plot is that the Fantastic Four and Victor von Doom (played by Julian McMahon) got hit by a cosmic energy cloud, which gives them powers. The Four (except Johnny Storm) is researching how to cure them of their powers while Victor plans to get rid of them for his own deviant needs. First, this goes on for too long, because as this is happening, other subplots take over which grinds the main plot to a halt at times and most of them are not that compelling like Johnny’s obsession with fame that does not go anywhere unless you watch the extended version. Second, it is predictable that is going to end with them accepting their powers and becoming superheroes; this movie is not fooling anyone. There is one more reason which I will get to, but basically speaking, this movie’s story is dull and easy to predict.

2.) I mentioned that three of the four superheroes have great actors playing their characters, but I did not mention the last member. That is because Jessica Alba is absolutely terrible as the Invisible Woman. She is not a good actress since her performance is not convincing the majority of the time. When she tries to be angry, it looks forced; when she attempts to be concerned for someone, she looks like she is thinking of something else. I believe she gets better in the sequel, but she does a terrible job in this movie that she was nominated for a Razzie Award for Worst Actress. I am glad that she has a different and better job after acting, but this movie is one of the reasons Alba changed her career.

3.) Victor Von Doom a.k.a. Doctor Doom is considered one of the greatest comic book villains of all time. He is one of the smartest villains who learned both science and magic, and he rules a fictional country as a dictator while having diplomatic immunity. He is such a threat that he managed to take over the world several times. Doom fits alongside Thanos, Galactus, Mephisto, and many great Marvel villains. With that said, how come this movie makes him look like an idiot?

Doom has been reduced to an evil CEO of a multi-billion-dollar company who is dumb as rocks. His idea of taking out the Fantastic Four is knocking out Ben when he is cured of his rocky form, firing a heat-seeking missile at Johnny and assuming that he got him, freezing Reed with nitrogen and leaving him there to die, and doing nothing to Sue as she attacks him. Here is a smarter move: wait for these people to get cured, and kill them when they no longer have powers. This guy could have been a great villain for the mainstream audience, but he is just an angry villain with a vendetta against the Fantastic Four because their expedition failed. Let’s hope that the MCU will actually make a better Doctor Doom because this is not him.

Overall:

From what I have heard, the Fantastic Four seems to be one of the most difficult superheroes to adapt anywhere from cartoons to movies, which I do not completely believe since there is a good Fantastic Four film called The Incredibles. These guys should be simple to make, but in this case, the movie missed its mark. It is not one of the worst movies ever made, but it certainly reaches it with a boring and predictable story, a poor casting choice, and a forgettable and pathetic villain. This is not exactly fantastic, but not terrible either. On that note, I will give it a worthy rating that fits with their name.

4/10

Benz Eye View: Hulk

You know that the Hulk has been around the MCU for quite a while despite having only one movie and appearing in multiple other MCU films, but do you remember that there was a Hulk movie back in 2003? Was this Hulk better than his MCU counterpart, or was there a reason why this one is not as well remembered? Let’s find out in this Marvel Movies Marathon on the Hulk.

Pros:

1.) The emotional beats with Bruce Banner (played by Eric Bana) and David Banner (played by Nick Nolte) as well as Betty Ross (played by Jennifer Connelly) and General Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross (played by Sam Elliott) are good here. The parallels on how both family duos have strained relationships are clever, and only one of them was resolved peacefully makes this tragic. It is not perfect (more on that later), but I appreciate that the relationships between these people are established well and have a decent progression to the point I prefer this version of Betty and General Ross over the MCU versions.

2.) When Hulk wreaks havoc every time he is on screen, that is entertaining to watch. It is shown well that this green giant cannot be stopped easily and he will destroy anything he sees. While it does get a little old and repetitive when he keeps fighting the army and they barely do any damage, the Hulk destroying anything in front of him is exactly what we expect from this movie.

3.) The editing is interesting here because what it does is that it uses comic book-like panels/shots and transitions to tell its plot. What that means is that it sometimes uses screen-on-screen shots; we see both the subject and the reactions of the characters in the same shot with two different screens or more on the same screen. If you still do not understand that, here is an example:

It is a compelling way to tell a story in a movie, and I am not sure if anyone else has done it…

Cons:

1.) …On the other hand, there are issues with this editing style. It can get overcrowded with many shots on the same screen; sometimes it is three different reaction shots of the same character and sometimes it is a room being torn apart with three different shots showing different parts of that room at the same time. Not only that, there are odd shots and edits of many rocks, flora, fauna, scientific technology, etc. that transition alongside normal shots sometimes through an extended period of time. I think the movie was trying to be artistic and metaphorical when it comes out as pretentious and confusing. In one case, how the movie showed Glenn Talbot’s (played by Josh Lucas) death (as seen in the clip above) ended up being hilarious thanks to this type of editing. Comic book films do not need this, and this movie proves why it can be an issue.

2.) While there are times that he looks good, the Hulk looks cartoonishly off for the most part. Compare this to the MCU version of the Hulk where he looks realistic and fits in the real world.

Here is the Incredible Hulk with Edward Norton…

Here is Hulk with Mark Ruffalo…

…And here is the Hulk with Eric Bana.

This Hulk looks unnaturally ginormous, which does fit with the character, but there are other problems. He looks like he was ripped from the comics, turned him 3D, and placed in a realistic setting when he fits more in a cartoon. Also, he does not look like Eric Bana at all compared to the other Hulks where they at least looked like the actors that are playing him or appear more realistic. VFX artists (like Corridor) have a better explanation of the VFX issues here, but for me, I think this Hulk appears imperfect.

3.) It is surprising that the story and writing made a man who is tortured by a giant green monster thanks to his dad’s negligence so boring. I talked about how the movie oddly spends plenty of time showing off rocks, scientific equipment, etc. and they even transition with them for symbolic purposes (I think), but the pacing is so slow that it takes a while for Bruce Banner to finally transform into the Hulk. In between those scenes are usually boring and uncompelling scenes that made the characters less interesting as a result. Odd moments are also sprinkled around here and there like Bruce suddenly getting angry for no reason when he transforms into the Hulk for the first time, Talbot suddenly has a vendetta against Bruce around the time Bruce is under house arrest, or why would anyone would have the right mind to make Bruce angry when they know he can turn into the Hulk. There are a few exceptions like when Bruce and Betty travel around their old abandoned desert homes and Bruce having fearful stress when he sees his parents’ room, and the parallels between Bruce, David, Betty, and General Ross are good, but the best parts are when Hulk appears and fights the military, but even that gets old for a while when you know that the Hulk can take them on. I appreciate the movie trying to give a character study on Bruce Banner and the Hulk, but there is a thing called “trying way too hard” which applies to the director, Ang Lee.

Overall:

The Hulk has been a popular Marvel character for such a long time that he had a TV show back in 1977 with several spin-off movies (though he was oddly named David Banner instead of Bruce Banner). The character would finally get his big-screen appearance in 2003 directed by Ang Lee, and this movie is a definition of trying a bit too hard for its own good. Honestly, the biggest flaw is that Ang Lee is the wrong director for this movie since he has a more artistic direction to his movies, and applying them to the Hulk did not work. It is not a terrible movie, but it is not a well-made movie that will please everyone, especially Hulk fans. If you want a good Hulk movie, The Incredible Hulk is the closest you are going to get or Thor: Ragnarok if you are that desperate. This movie may not make you angry, but it may not make you happy either.

5/10

Benz Eye View: Punisher: War Zone

There were plans to continue Thomas Jane’s run as the Punisher, but due to development hell on the sequel and not believing that it is going to be as good as its predecessor, Thomas Jane eventually left the project, so a reboot was made instead and the Punisher would be played by Ray Stevenson. Can Ray’s run as the Punisher work as well as Thomas’s? Let’s find out in the next Marvel Movies Marathon in Punisher: War Zone.

Pros:

1.) This is by far the most violent Punisher movie I have seen. These gangsters get killed in such terrible ways; I would not be surprised if Punisher becomes a guest character in Mortal Kombat (I know that is legally impossible, but that would be cool). If you do not believe me, here is an unrated trailer showing off most of the violent parts of the movie:

You want a more accurate look at this blood lust, here is another video to help you out:

The point is that if you are a fan of the Punisher MAX version of the character, you are definitely getting it in terms of violence.

2.) When Billy “the Beaut” Russoti (played by Dominic West) became Jigsaw (not to be confused with a certain horror icon), his appearance looks disturbingly great.

That is a face that only a mother…would put makeup over.

The makeup alone makes the villain look terrifying, and he probably would have been a great standout villain if there it wasn’t for the one big problem I have with this character, but I will get to that later. It is not perfect since there are times when the skin patches do not match in different scenes (though that may be the point with his skin decaying…I think), but it still made a formerly “beaut” man into a hideous deformed gangster.

3.) If there is one small thing I like about the movie is about Jigsaw himself on two occasions. The first is that there are times (especially before he became Jigsaw) when he defended his brother, James Russoti a.k.a. Loony Bin Jim (played by Doug Hutchison) from insults. The second is when he was disgusted by his scarred face, and James comforted him by smashing mirrors all around the room. Those were the only times where Jigsaw had some depth to him…

Cons:

1.) …Because other than those few moments, Jigsaw is one of the most cartoonish villains I have ever seen in a movie with such a serious and violent tone. The movie tries to make him insane alongside his brother, but there is a difference between an insane character and a cartoon character. He laughs like a typical villain who laughs just because, and he acts like a child who thinks it is cool to be the bad boy by destroying everything he sees. It seems like he lost most of his relatability when he turned into Jigsaw because there is nothing much to him other than a scarred stereotypical gangster.

2.) Ray Stevenson is not that great as the Punisher for two reasons: his acting and his character’s motivation. Throughout his acting, he spends most of his time being dead inside and not much else other than being angry. In his run, Thomas Jane did more than just be dead inside; he was also determined to make sure the Saints get what they deserve, but he was not cold to his neighbors who were trying to help. While Ray had bits of those traits, it is not enough to stand out. He is a weak Punisher at best.

Another problem is that his motivation is confusing. Punisher accidentally killed an undercover agent during his attack against the mafia, and it was enough to make him consider retirement after a five-year-long run of vigilantism. While I understand he would be guilty of that, but not enough to make him consider quitting, especially when there are still criminals loose in the city. This just makes him look weaker as a result, and it makes me yearn for the Thomas Jane sequel we never got. I guess the best we got is that short film instead.

3.) I do not like how this movie was filmed, particularly in the lighting department. Each scene (particularly at night) has different lighting with different colors (usually yellow and blue) with such brightness that it hurts my eyes. Sometimes, the contrast is so bright that I wonder if the director is intentionally tried to blind her audience. One standout bad lighting is where Jigsaw and James are riding in their car in the daylight, and the lighting towards these characters is so bright that it does not match the exterior that looks pretty dark in comparison. I do not know why they had to make the lighting so bright and colorful, but it does stand out for the wrong reasons.

Overall:

As mentioned before, this is not a sequel to Thomas Jane’s run of the Punisher but a reboot with Ray Stevenson due to development hell on the sequel and Jane quitting the project. What we got is Punisher: War Zone, and it is not as good as its predecessor. While it does have bloody violence and a great makeup look for Jigsaw, it has a poorer story and direction that does not make it stand out that much. The only recommendation I will make for this movie is for the action (despite some flaws) and violence, though I believe The Punisher (2004) is a smarter and better film. Since this movie failed to impress anyone, it deserved its punishment.

4/10