Pros:
1.) The cinematography has some pretty cool shots from the environments to some interior rooms. Does that save the movie? No, but I might as well give it the ONE good thing that it has.
Cons:
1.) Where do I begin with this movie? Let’s start with the main child actor, Ferdia Shaw as Artemis Fowl II. How should I put this? He is awful. Nowhere did I find this child actor convincing in his role. He has the same neutral face throughout most of the movie and does not emote in any other way. However, there are bigger problems than this kid’s acting…
2.) …One of the problems is the characters: no one in this movie is compelling nor interesting. The movie says many times that Artemis Fowl II is the smartest boy you have ever seen, yet there is very little proof of that, and some of that proof is due to contrivance rather than his own actions. I barely remember any of the other major characters, so here is my best explanation of some of these characters to the best of my memories. Dom Butler is Artemis’s butler and close friend who hates being called a butler and can fight. Juliet is Dom’s niece…the movie makes a big deal about her for a bit but never utilized her.
Holly Short is an elf police officer whose father was killed, so she investigates his murder (probably the only character that I have some interest in). Mulch Diggums is a “giant” dwarf that is there to narrate the story (and help out, I guess). Julius Root is the commanding officer for Holly Short…and has something wrong with her throat, apparently. Opal Koboi…is clearly the Voldemort of the series, but I doubt we are going to learn much about this guy until future (unlikely) movies. If there is a better description I can give these characters, I cannot give much, because the characters are not fleshed out enough for anyone to care or like them. If the characters are not interesting, then the story suffers…
3.) …It also does not help that the story is just as bad as the characters. I thought the plot was supposed to be that Artemis has to save his dad, Artemis Fowl, Sr., from Opal Koboi by giving her the Aculos, a magical artifact that can open portals between worlds (at least, I think because once it was used, it did…something that is not exactly the same as it was described). However, that does not start until halfway into the movie, and some of the events before are with Holly Short’s subplot about her dad and fleshing out the world of Haven City. That is the big problem, the movie spends more time fleshing out the world rather than the characters and story, and even the world is not that interesting considering how unoriginal it is (other than their guns which look really stupid). If you know what dwarves, fairies, pixies, and any magical creatures are, you know what to expect in this movie. As for the story and plot, I will be nice and say this: if you have a huge tolerance of many of the dumb moments, confusing plot points, an annoying narration of how awesome Artemis is, and clear sequel-baiting, then you MAY tolerate this movie.
Overall:
I finally watched and review a movie ever since the quarantine, though I admittedly do not like to review streaming movies, because I prefer to be an environment where I have my full attention to what I am watching (i.e. the movie theater). I am going to make an exception because, despite my lackluster reaction to the initial trailers for this movie, it is the reaction to those trailers that got me intrigued because fans of the book do not like this movie. Based on the 2001 novel of the same name by Eion Colfer, this movie has been in development hell since 2001. It took them nineteen years for this movie to finally be made. Was it all worth it?
To put it plainly, they either should have planned better or canceled it entirely, because this is one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life. None of the characters are interesting, the plot does not start until halfway into the movie, the story is slow and nonsensical, the world you have seen so many times, and it had the guts to sequel-bait when it did not earn it. I am sure Disney realized that this movie sucks, and released it on Disney+ instead of their other movies like Mulan (2020) and Black Widow. I may not have read the book, but I have heard by its fans that the movie is nowhere close to the original source material. Considering the like/dislike ration from the trailer above and from what I have seen, I can definitely see why. If you wanted to see a Disney movie about fairy tale creatures in the modern world, your best bet is going to be Onward, because there is no way that this one is going to be a franchise anytime soon.
1/10
benzeyeview 